I Just Had to Share This

The last week has truly been life changing. I just have to share this! Having worked two very long and stressful days, I came to myself on a gurney. I was in an ambulance with two paramedics asking me questions. And was not able to answer most of the questions. The seizure I’d had while sleeping cause great disorientation. This was my third seizure. I went to the hospital. They did some bloodwork and then sent me home. I made an appointment see my neurologist. 

I Just Had to Share This, Death

Once home the realization of what happened started to come to me. My sister Brenda told me what happened. I have no memory when I have these seizures. When Brenda told me everything that happened I was afraid. I could have died while struggling to breathe. Feeling sorry for myself I threw a pity party. I didn’t want to deal with the situation. Had I died what was the destination of my soul? Would I have gone to hell or heaven? That was a question I did not want to answer.

We were having a KARES in Action meeting when we had the discussion. She told me I might have died. It was God that awoke her to hear me struggling to breathe. She told me a lot of things about myself. She challenged me to think about my life and where I was going. Time was being wasted and we have so little of it. What she said were true. I cried. The process of sanctification needs to take place in my life. The willingness to allow God to work on me. I need to give myself to Him like I gave myself to all those men. He loves me and won’t hurt me like they did. I Just had to share this!

Reflection

After the meeting I went into my room and closed the door.  Quiet time was required to do some reflecting on my life. I cried out and repented. Realizing I had been given another chance. I did not die because God has a plan for my life. He spared me and He didn’t have to do so. He was merciful and I thank God. I just had to share this!

I rewatched a movie, The Passion of the Christ. There was a lot of crying. I thanked my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for dying for me. It is a not an easy movie to watch but it gives great perspective. It shows a drop of Jesus suffering. He who committed no sin. He did it for us. We are the ones who deserve that kind of punishment. We have committed all kinds of sin. He died for us so we can have access to the Father. I thank God for the opportunity to share this!

A weight was lifted off of me. I have struggled to forgive myself for all the things I’ve done. I’ve beat myself up and I had to let them go. He forgave me and I must do the same. I won’t be able to grow unless I did. Now I feel hope. There is a lightness about me. My desire to be a help. I want to grow and serve the Lord. There is a change in my life. A much needed one and I had to share this. To God be the glory.

Sister Charmaine