Desperation: A Long Distance Relationship

Desperation: A Long Distance Relationship. I went to Washington, D.C. on vacation. I was supposed to spend some time with my high school boyfriend. He ended up going home to Ohio. I was left there alone. He suggested I visit a club for some fun.  I took him up on that offer. When I arrived at the club the bouncer saw I was alone, he was concerned. He said I shouldn’t be there by myself. He kept an eye out to make sure I was safe. I didn’t realize at the time that was God watching over me. 

Desperation: A Long Distance Relationship?

Sitting alone, a guy came up and talked to me. We chatted for a while and were getting along. He was there with his brother-in-law. We had a couple of drinks. He offered to show me around the city next day. I said okay. We exchanged numbers and I took a cab to my hotel. I remember my feet were numb from wearing a pair of my high heels that night. I had done some dancing with him too.

The next day he showed me some of the city. We had a great time. It was quite late when we got back. He stayed at the hotel with me. There were two adjoining rooms. He slept in the adjoining room. The next day I went back home and he said he would come visit me. We would talk a lot. We were Facebook friends. I really wanted to see him again. My sister said I should wait and let him come visit me but I wouldn’t listen. I raced back to see him about a month after meeting him. He stayed with me at the hotel and this time there was only one room. Desperation ruled my life.

Desperation: You Got the Money, I Got the Time

This became a routine. I’d visit him and he would sometimes come see me.  I was driving to Milwaukee. Which is over two hours away to get cheaper deals for him to come visit. I was spending money when we would go out. He would occasionally pay.  It did not occur to me that I was being used. He was out to get what he could from me. I was very desperate. I was determined to make the relationship work. Honestly I wasn’t sure if there wasn’t someone else he was doing the same thing with. It was certainly possible. The longest time we spent together was 10 days. When I went on vacation to Washington. Desperation: A Long Distance Relationship!

I remember that there were times before I left him. I’d give him money. It felt like I needed him in my life. He kept saying he would move to my state. I desperately wanted to believe him. I didn’t want to hear anything anyone had to say about him. They were trying to destroy my happiness. Desperation take my money please!

In reality I wasn’t happy. I was very lonely and having a boyfriend was not helping. I was putting all my effort into a man. He couldn’t make me happy or take away the loneliness. My soul was crying out for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I wasn’t listening. There was an ache. My heart ached. I didn’t understand why I was feeling that way. I was looking for solutions in a man. That was definitely the wrong place. The love I wanted was the love of God. I needed to repent for my sins and follow Jesus Christ and turn away from my sins.

Sister Charmaine